ioana
in quest for genuine
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About Me
- Name: ioana
- Location: Bucharest, Romania
I experiment with myself and the world around me. I always seek for that small sparkle of what's real and authentic in things, people, nature...
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Fields of Gold
So she took her love
For to gaze awhile
Upon the fields of barley
In his arms she fell as her hair came down
Among the fields of gold
Many years have passed since those summer days
Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold
You'll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in the fields of gold
(Sting - Fields of Gold)
I came over listening to Sting among some chill out music I was enjoying, and this song reminded me of a dear friend of mine. I will always associate him with dancing in the summer rain, with the smell of wet dust, and the feeling of cold rain drops falling on my body.
Although time has passed the plenitude of feelings I have when looking back has not decreased. Some experiences have the power to bring you happiness even after they are over, to raise memories that are triggered by a word, a song, or a smell. My friend is one of those people “out there”, we are far away from each other, and we’ll physically part even more in the next months. But he is also one of those people so close to me that we listen to the same song at the same time, who can sense if something is wrong with me, who can make me smile instantly.
Thought: encourage my friend to continue his beautiful voyage in the world
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Bitter sweet taste
That’s how i would describe life at this moment. It’s been already a moth since I last wrote, not because nothing happened (on the contrary), but I am not yet accustomed to write my thoughts.
These last weeks have been a mixture of experiences and sensations, so many that I started to don’t recognize the way I react, to wonder if that’s really me, or some automatic “response”. Work, school, family, personal feelings, all have gathered and rose to such intensity that I’m begging to feel numb with too many emotions.
“Vanity is my favorite sin” is one of my favorite movie lines. And oh boy, have I sinned!! I don’t mind my pride, it has always been and engine for my greatest achievements, and is one of the forces that drives me. So I can say I am not used to loosing.
And that’s exactly what I had to face lately, failure: I was one step from not passing my final year at school, I’ve been bringing less results to my team due to focusing on school, I failed to support my family through the rough times they are facing…..this will give a proud person a horrible sense of it’s limits, minuses, you feel like a little bug at the turn of being crushed down!
Yet I’m almost out of that moment. Yes, I finally accept it: I can’t do everything!! But what really stopped my torment was realizing that I don’t even have to do everything. I really am able to prioritize, even if it means sacrificing part of my work, or other things that I love doing.
Even though I find so much pleasure in small things, conversations with my friends, summer rain for a few hours, good music & food, I realize I am missing those “big things” that give you a great feeling of accomplishment when you make them.
Thought: discover a new challenge
These last weeks have been a mixture of experiences and sensations, so many that I started to don’t recognize the way I react, to wonder if that’s really me, or some automatic “response”. Work, school, family, personal feelings, all have gathered and rose to such intensity that I’m begging to feel numb with too many emotions.
“Vanity is my favorite sin” is one of my favorite movie lines. And oh boy, have I sinned!! I don’t mind my pride, it has always been and engine for my greatest achievements, and is one of the forces that drives me. So I can say I am not used to loosing.
And that’s exactly what I had to face lately, failure: I was one step from not passing my final year at school, I’ve been bringing less results to my team due to focusing on school, I failed to support my family through the rough times they are facing…..this will give a proud person a horrible sense of it’s limits, minuses, you feel like a little bug at the turn of being crushed down!
Yet I’m almost out of that moment. Yes, I finally accept it: I can’t do everything!! But what really stopped my torment was realizing that I don’t even have to do everything. I really am able to prioritize, even if it means sacrificing part of my work, or other things that I love doing.
Even though I find so much pleasure in small things, conversations with my friends, summer rain for a few hours, good music & food, I realize I am missing those “big things” that give you a great feeling of accomplishment when you make them.
Thought: discover a new challenge