ioana
in quest for genuine
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About Me
- Name: ioana
- Location: Bucharest, Romania
I experiment with myself and the world around me. I always seek for that small sparkle of what's real and authentic in things, people, nature...
Archive
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Frivolous football
Don’t worry, you are still on my blog, even if it contains the word “football”. I started watching football games because it’s the UEFA championship, and the male part of my friends group is dragging me to TV games. But I hold on to my first opinion: there are 22 men chasing a ball for one and a half hours. Can someone please explain what is so interesting about that?
Now the female part of our friends group decided to share the fun boys have while watching football. Luckily enough, due to their activity, football players have very well shaped legs and asses. Oh, you see now where I’m going, don’t you? :)
Yes, the girls and I are watching now the game with the boys with at least as much excitement as they do! I even started learning some on the rules, about offside, hent, and others that I still need to understand. And to take it one step further now I'm following a very exciting game between two known rivals in the Romanian championship! In the UEFA cup’s quarter finals two Romanian team are competing against each other for the first time: Steaua – Rapid. And after a very exciting first round that finalized with a tie, I'm really looking forward to the second game.
And who knows, hopefully we’ll go the whole gang on the stadium to watch it! Well, that's still a bit uncertain, since we have to find the time to gather together in a big number, otherwise I am not sure how we'll survive the battles that usually take place after the games!
Now the female part of our friends group decided to share the fun boys have while watching football. Luckily enough, due to their activity, football players have very well shaped legs and asses. Oh, you see now where I’m going, don’t you? :)
Yes, the girls and I are watching now the game with the boys with at least as much excitement as they do! I even started learning some on the rules, about offside, hent, and others that I still need to understand. And to take it one step further now I'm following a very exciting game between two known rivals in the Romanian championship! In the UEFA cup’s quarter finals two Romanian team are competing against each other for the first time: Steaua – Rapid. And after a very exciting first round that finalized with a tie, I'm really looking forward to the second game.
And who knows, hopefully we’ll go the whole gang on the stadium to watch it! Well, that's still a bit uncertain, since we have to find the time to gather together in a big number, otherwise I am not sure how we'll survive the battles that usually take place after the games!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Turn the page
I ran away this weekend into a completely feminine escape! I felt that if I stay just one more hour in the office I will go completely crazy. I need to make a decision and I seam to be asking myself the wrong questions because no answer comes along.
So I did what most women do when we need a break, just that I mixed it all in 3 days:
- Escaped office work, by having a great lunch with Ana and Vlad on Friday. Making fun of the waiters, and my horrible tasting veggie salad was on the agenda, together with more profound discussion about future plans (since we all just started/are on the verge of starting a new road)
- Went shopping. Now this is not a good option for a girl, because in wondering state of mind you come to buy the most useless things possible. My case : I bought a hat!
- Saw a movie: the wedding crashers. Silly, but completely fit for taking away the feeling of melancholy Ana and I shared.
- Pampered all weekend. Stayed at Ana’s (temporary) place, turned off both mobiles, watched soap operas, drank a whole lotta Sherindans, read beauty magazines, chit-chatted about life, loves and plans in generally.
- Went shopping (again)! Now this is the time when you realize the situation is serious :) Sunday I still didn’t have an answer about my next move, so we went shopping one more time. Yes, I (and women in general) do know this doesn’t help in taking a decision. But it’s so much better to treat yourself with goodies that sit and be sorry for yourself because you can’t seam to get it right! Useless item purchased: trendy shades and last edition of Cosmo (a girls’s gotta do what a girls gotta do).
Here I am, on the road again
I have two beautiful months left of my time in aiesec. I find myself starting a completely new road, which I craved for a long while, to to discover I am now staring scared at the numerous paths. Am I asking for too much/ am I satisfied with too little, Should I embrace fast career opportunities/ take personal time to develop, work in MNC/SME, too many questions, but none of them the right one. Ah, if you’re thinking about stuff like “Where do you see yourself in 3 years from now?” please forget it. Frankly, I don’t know, and I don’t think is the right time to ask myself this!
There I am, up on the stage
One way or the other, I’ll be out of the country on June 15th (at least this is the plan). SN form is in Insight, CVs are made, cover letters sketched, and I already applied for 4 traineeships. One wasn’t meant to happen, two I changed my mind and turned them down, one still pending. This last one is the decision I am working my mind on. Yes, I know it would help if I take this decision BEFORE actually applying for a traineeship. On the paper all seams well, but when it’s about to turn to reality I realize it doesn’t fit with what I want to. Coming back to that question, huh?
Here I go, playing star again
I counted and last week I turned down the 20th job offer I had in Romania. At least this I know for sure, I want to go on an internship abroad. It’s good to feel “wanted”, to know you are valuable for employers. The trust however falls when I picture myself working for a small African company and ask myself what my value will be after that year. Still valuable, true, but I will probably have to start from the same level as now. And then I ask myself: do I really care about this? Answer: no, not really….probably…,ok, maybe…a little….
So I did what most women do when we need a break, just that I mixed it all in 3 days:
- Escaped office work, by having a great lunch with Ana and Vlad on Friday. Making fun of the waiters, and my horrible tasting veggie salad was on the agenda, together with more profound discussion about future plans (since we all just started/are on the verge of starting a new road)
- Went shopping. Now this is not a good option for a girl, because in wondering state of mind you come to buy the most useless things possible. My case : I bought a hat!
- Saw a movie: the wedding crashers. Silly, but completely fit for taking away the feeling of melancholy Ana and I shared.
- Pampered all weekend. Stayed at Ana’s (temporary) place, turned off both mobiles, watched soap operas, drank a whole lotta Sherindans, read beauty magazines, chit-chatted about life, loves and plans in generally.
- Went shopping (again)! Now this is the time when you realize the situation is serious :) Sunday I still didn’t have an answer about my next move, so we went shopping one more time. Yes, I (and women in general) do know this doesn’t help in taking a decision. But it’s so much better to treat yourself with goodies that sit and be sorry for yourself because you can’t seam to get it right! Useless item purchased: trendy shades and last edition of Cosmo (a girls’s gotta do what a girls gotta do).
Here I am, on the road again
I have two beautiful months left of my time in aiesec. I find myself starting a completely new road, which I craved for a long while, to to discover I am now staring scared at the numerous paths. Am I asking for too much/ am I satisfied with too little, Should I embrace fast career opportunities/ take personal time to develop, work in MNC/SME, too many questions, but none of them the right one. Ah, if you’re thinking about stuff like “Where do you see yourself in 3 years from now?” please forget it. Frankly, I don’t know, and I don’t think is the right time to ask myself this!
There I am, up on the stage
One way or the other, I’ll be out of the country on June 15th (at least this is the plan). SN form is in Insight, CVs are made, cover letters sketched, and I already applied for 4 traineeships. One wasn’t meant to happen, two I changed my mind and turned them down, one still pending. This last one is the decision I am working my mind on. Yes, I know it would help if I take this decision BEFORE actually applying for a traineeship. On the paper all seams well, but when it’s about to turn to reality I realize it doesn’t fit with what I want to. Coming back to that question, huh?
Here I go, playing star again
I counted and last week I turned down the 20th job offer I had in Romania. At least this I know for sure, I want to go on an internship abroad. It’s good to feel “wanted”, to know you are valuable for employers. The trust however falls when I picture myself working for a small African company and ask myself what my value will be after that year. Still valuable, true, but I will probably have to start from the same level as now. And then I ask myself: do I really care about this? Answer: no, not really….probably…,ok, maybe…a little….
There I go, turn the page
I will turn my page for sure. It’s all in the process to say so, and I am not a patient person, so learning comes from this as well. Learning on how to take the thought off my mind, to wait for the right opportunity to come, to read the new TNs in IXP every day :) My next page is unwritten still. Surprise and excitement awaits me as I will turn it…
I will turn my page for sure. It’s all in the process to say so, and I am not a patient person, so learning comes from this as well. Learning on how to take the thought off my mind, to wait for the right opportunity to come, to read the new TNs in IXP every day :) My next page is unwritten still. Surprise and excitement awaits me as I will turn it…
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
“Living your life is something very rare. Most people simply exist.”
The quote is from Oscar Wilde, and it was the tile of the weekly newsletter I receive from 121 (the community of sensational women :)) As I was reading from it, DJ Tiesto in my headphones started singing “Just Be”. And at that moment I stopped, and realized they are right: sometimes living involves simply just being.
These days I am taking it step by step. I let my feelings take over me, and I live them fully as they are, happy, sad, excited, angry, scared….it’s a conscious unconsciousness of breaking the boundaries of control, and being real. It’s different from the carousel of emotions you have when they escape your control, and come and take over you for awhile. It’s more like a mixture of really intense moments, with flashes of floating serenity.
I’ve learned that peace and struggle are not opposite, but alternate. That one without the other simply looses savor. My peace comes now from the joy of being myself, with all the emotional baggage I still have. And knowing this, I can’t help smiling and believing that no matter what happens all will be well.
You can travel the world
But you can't run away
From the person you are in your heart
Flying on planes to exotic locations
Won't teach you
How you really feel
If you're searchin for truth
You must look in the mirror
And make sense of what you can see
Just be
Just be
Thursday, March 02, 2006
The rest is still unwritten...
I wrote what I need to remember, what I need to hear again and again:
that life is full of beauty and pain;
that the world will break your heart and heal it,
over and over, if you let it,
and that letting it do both is the only way to live fully;
that we are not alone but deeply connected to that which create, and sustains all life.
that life is full of beauty and pain;
that the world will break your heart and heal it,
over and over, if you let it,
and that letting it do both is the only way to live fully;
that we are not alone but deeply connected to that which create, and sustains all life.