ioana
in quest for genuine
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About Me
- Name: ioana
- Location: Bucharest, Romania
I experiment with myself and the world around me. I always seek for that small sparkle of what's real and authentic in things, people, nature...
Archive
Friday, February 29, 2008
Shake off my rustiness
I think it’s already been three months since I proclaimed my desire and need to start exercising. Well, now that I count, it’s actually been 4 since November! You know how that is, don’t you? I think we are all aware that we should work out, but we rarely actually do that. Myself, I fell in the trap of “I’m too busy this week, so I’ll take some time the next one”.
I was busy indeed, but really not to the point where I couldn’t take an hour or two to work out. I even set out to go to the gym once, just to discover at home that I have no pants and shoes that I could wear. NONE! I’m not kidding, out of my 30something pairs of shoes none is a sports one. It’s true that the last time I was sporty was like 10 years ago! And what ever shape I still have today is because back then I used to train real hard, for competition level. Luckily I have some good muscular remains :)
I did manage to drag my ass for a couple of ski escapades and treks, but nothing that can actually be called a work out. But this week I’m really really proud of myself for having a complete workout schedule and keeping it:
Monday – Climbing
Tuesday – Climbing
Wednesday – Climbing
Thursday – Tennis
Today – rest
Saturday – Yogilates
Sunday – rest
A full week, eh? Ok, so maybe I’ve put in too much but I was really overenthusiastic, a three days per week would do just fine. I’m trying to convince myself that jogging could be nice to introduce more aerobics. But I’m reluctant :)
So the story behind is that I was looking for something that both sculpts my body and engages my mind. Like Yoga or Pilates, but I found nothing to be both affordable and fitting my schedule. So somehow I got to the idea of climbing, because it’s physically demanding, and it involves a lot of concentration and mental strength. So I joined a class! After my first lessons I can actually say that I had to work equally with my mind and body. You just stay in front of a 10m high wall and suddenly you whisper to yourself “Shit, can I really do this?” Then after some sweat, painful contortions on the wall and moments when you totally want to focus on looking UP not DOWN, you’re there! There, on the top, finally looking down. You have to let go. You’re roped, nothing can happen, off course you know that, but you really don’t want to let go, there are 10m below you. Ok, I close my eyes, and let go: cling. One second, I open my eyes, I’m still there, in the rope. Feels quite nice actually!
This was my first lesson, from there I kept liking it more and more. Being that I’m a complete rooky I know zero technique. So pretty much all my moves on the wall rely on strength, which means my body gets quite a workout, and I get quite a painful couple of days after each lesson. But I’m loving it, and trying to slowly learn how to do things right and elegant. The only downside to climbing is the shoes. You have to wear these special climbing shoes that look like the ugly cousins of sports shoes. And you need to have them 1 or 2 sizes smaller than your number, to have a good grip with your toes. Killer shoes! You think that after 10 years of high (and I mean HIGH) heels your feet know it all, but believe me, these are the most painful things I ever had to put on!
The tennis is quite a long story but here is the short version: as a teenager I played for a few years and I was quite good at it, won a couple of competitions. But I have touched the racquet in 10 years, so you can imagine I suck right now :) The thing is that my mind remember very quickly how it is, and it’s used to winning. My body on the other hand is completely blurred right now: my backhand flies in random directions, my serve is just starting to feel right, and my forehand is the only move I can rely on. So there’s conflict: the mind says “Girl, you’ve done this a thousand times before, now win the damn game!” and my body does “Uuuu, so what do I do now?”. I got very pissed and frustrated after the game. Intriguing how this just build up inside me, even though rationally I know it takes weeks until I can even hold the racquet right!
Looking forward for some mental disconnection with Yogilates :)
I was busy indeed, but really not to the point where I couldn’t take an hour or two to work out. I even set out to go to the gym once, just to discover at home that I have no pants and shoes that I could wear. NONE! I’m not kidding, out of my 30something pairs of shoes none is a sports one. It’s true that the last time I was sporty was like 10 years ago! And what ever shape I still have today is because back then I used to train real hard, for competition level. Luckily I have some good muscular remains :)
I did manage to drag my ass for a couple of ski escapades and treks, but nothing that can actually be called a work out. But this week I’m really really proud of myself for having a complete workout schedule and keeping it:
Monday – Climbing
Tuesday – Climbing
Wednesday – Climbing
Thursday – Tennis
Today – rest
Saturday – Yogilates
Sunday – rest
A full week, eh? Ok, so maybe I’ve put in too much but I was really overenthusiastic, a three days per week would do just fine. I’m trying to convince myself that jogging could be nice to introduce more aerobics. But I’m reluctant :)
So the story behind is that I was looking for something that both sculpts my body and engages my mind. Like Yoga or Pilates, but I found nothing to be both affordable and fitting my schedule. So somehow I got to the idea of climbing, because it’s physically demanding, and it involves a lot of concentration and mental strength. So I joined a class! After my first lessons I can actually say that I had to work equally with my mind and body. You just stay in front of a 10m high wall and suddenly you whisper to yourself “Shit, can I really do this?” Then after some sweat, painful contortions on the wall and moments when you totally want to focus on looking UP not DOWN, you’re there! There, on the top, finally looking down. You have to let go. You’re roped, nothing can happen, off course you know that, but you really don’t want to let go, there are 10m below you. Ok, I close my eyes, and let go: cling. One second, I open my eyes, I’m still there, in the rope. Feels quite nice actually!
This was my first lesson, from there I kept liking it more and more. Being that I’m a complete rooky I know zero technique. So pretty much all my moves on the wall rely on strength, which means my body gets quite a workout, and I get quite a painful couple of days after each lesson. But I’m loving it, and trying to slowly learn how to do things right and elegant. The only downside to climbing is the shoes. You have to wear these special climbing shoes that look like the ugly cousins of sports shoes. And you need to have them 1 or 2 sizes smaller than your number, to have a good grip with your toes. Killer shoes! You think that after 10 years of high (and I mean HIGH) heels your feet know it all, but believe me, these are the most painful things I ever had to put on!
The tennis is quite a long story but here is the short version: as a teenager I played for a few years and I was quite good at it, won a couple of competitions. But I have touched the racquet in 10 years, so you can imagine I suck right now :) The thing is that my mind remember very quickly how it is, and it’s used to winning. My body on the other hand is completely blurred right now: my backhand flies in random directions, my serve is just starting to feel right, and my forehand is the only move I can rely on. So there’s conflict: the mind says “Girl, you’ve done this a thousand times before, now win the damn game!” and my body does “Uuuu, so what do I do now?”. I got very pissed and frustrated after the game. Intriguing how this just build up inside me, even though rationally I know it takes weeks until I can even hold the racquet right!
Looking forward for some mental disconnection with Yogilates :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The fresh beauty of a new horizon
“I had a farm in Africa, at the foot of the Ngong Hills” is the start of one of my favorite movies and books. Ever since hearing this, some small part of the image found a shelter in my mind, and remained there: the wide landscape that opens in front you as you open the door, green trees and ochre sand meet your eyes in a blend of a surreal sunset, children come running from the back while you can guess the silhouette of elephants on the horizon.
Africa….I felt drawn by this image, by the accounts of my friends who traveled the continent, by its somehow mythical past of cradling our human existence, by its sparkling people and cultures! This year I decided to make the plunge and go there. So I look now in my inbox at my eTicket, one month of freedom and exploration this summer!
It’s the first time I’m travelling alone. On one side this scares me to the bones: going alone to a far off land, completely unknown to me, being strikingly different because of my skin, the latest violence in Kenya, being a woman, and many more reasons to fear. But on the other side I feel more excited that I’ve ever been about a trip so far: my longing for Africa is so intimate that I fear I couldn’t connect and share with anyone I’d travel with. And somehow I want to spend more time with the locals, not really be a tourist. Being alone forces one to blend in.
One month to discover Tanzania. Quite long, but not long enough I guess. I chose Tanzania because it offers a diversity of experiences: safaris, tribes, islands, mountains, and cities. And also because it is fairly safe, something I usually forget to be concerned about, but I have to confess that Kenya’s situation freaked me off a bit. I have planned about two weeks of the time and I want to leave room for what might come up.
Here are some pics from their National Parks website:
Africa….I felt drawn by this image, by the accounts of my friends who traveled the continent, by its somehow mythical past of cradling our human existence, by its sparkling people and cultures! This year I decided to make the plunge and go there. So I look now in my inbox at my eTicket, one month of freedom and exploration this summer!
It’s the first time I’m travelling alone. On one side this scares me to the bones: going alone to a far off land, completely unknown to me, being strikingly different because of my skin, the latest violence in Kenya, being a woman, and many more reasons to fear. But on the other side I feel more excited that I’ve ever been about a trip so far: my longing for Africa is so intimate that I fear I couldn’t connect and share with anyone I’d travel with. And somehow I want to spend more time with the locals, not really be a tourist. Being alone forces one to blend in.
One month to discover Tanzania. Quite long, but not long enough I guess. I chose Tanzania because it offers a diversity of experiences: safaris, tribes, islands, mountains, and cities. And also because it is fairly safe, something I usually forget to be concerned about, but I have to confess that Kenya’s situation freaked me off a bit. I have planned about two weeks of the time and I want to leave room for what might come up.
Here are some pics from their National Parks website:
The snow capes of Kilimanjaro, with its 5.895 m Uhuru Peak
Cheetas in the Serengetti
Amazing beaches in Zanzibar (picture by Marielou Dhumez)
Friday, February 01, 2008
Freedom's just another word
I’ve been feeling trapped lately, despite my wonderful fruitful time so far this year! It’s not that I have one major thing that is trapping me, but I think some small ones, minor even, have been gathering around me and drove me maaaaaaaaddd! It’s a maddening trap!
Here is how it goes: small thing1 suddenly needs to be solved asap, small thing2 was supposed to be done by someone else and just happens to land in my lap, small thing3 needs to prepared for school (why, WHY did I start a master), small thing4 is a minor crisis with my partner, small thing5 is a meeting with friends I’ve been postponing for ages, and on and on and on! The things themselves are not bad, and I don’t mind doing them , it’s the fact that I HAVE TO what’s bothering me. I don’t like to HAVE TO anything!
I know it sounds radical (and unrealistic). We ALL HAVE TO at one point or another. But my untamed nature makes me run wild from all these sometimes. I remember when I was working with horses, back when I used to do riding. No matter how well some are trained, for long they have been rid, some horses never do what they have to. They will try to shake you out of the saddle when you’re with your guard down, and you will just see in their eyes that they only do things because they CHOOSE to.
I know what I want and choose to do. All of the small things are part of that, they come in whole, as a package. Who can have a relationship and not have to understand his/her partner? Who can strive for professional excellence and not have to be disciplined? Who can build wonderful friendships and not have to stay close and in contact?
Just that now that intrinsic untamed side of me is taking over. If I were a horse this would be the time I would kick someone out of the saddle and start to run wild on the hills. A song keeps playing in my mind, a reminiscence of hippie high school.
Here is how it goes: small thing1 suddenly needs to be solved asap, small thing2 was supposed to be done by someone else and just happens to land in my lap, small thing3 needs to prepared for school (why, WHY did I start a master), small thing4 is a minor crisis with my partner, small thing5 is a meeting with friends I’ve been postponing for ages, and on and on and on! The things themselves are not bad, and I don’t mind doing them , it’s the fact that I HAVE TO what’s bothering me. I don’t like to HAVE TO anything!
I know it sounds radical (and unrealistic). We ALL HAVE TO at one point or another. But my untamed nature makes me run wild from all these sometimes. I remember when I was working with horses, back when I used to do riding. No matter how well some are trained, for long they have been rid, some horses never do what they have to. They will try to shake you out of the saddle when you’re with your guard down, and you will just see in their eyes that they only do things because they CHOOSE to.
I know what I want and choose to do. All of the small things are part of that, they come in whole, as a package. Who can have a relationship and not have to understand his/her partner? Who can strive for professional excellence and not have to be disciplined? Who can build wonderful friendships and not have to stay close and in contact?
Just that now that intrinsic untamed side of me is taking over. If I were a horse this would be the time I would kick someone out of the saddle and start to run wild on the hills. A song keeps playing in my mind, a reminiscence of hippie high school.
Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose,
And nothing, I mean nothing honey if it ain’t free!
Good old Janis! Ok, time to be free now, I log off and head for the woods :)