ioana
in quest for genuine
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About Me
- Name: ioana
- Location: Bucharest, Romania
I experiment with myself and the world around me. I always seek for that small sparkle of what's real and authentic in things, people, nature...
Archive
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Romanian classic
I have this odd desire to mix classic music with Romanian folk, none of them being what I ordinary listen. The most wonderful mix and match is Nigel Kennedy's tribute to Maria Tanase. Just thought to share :)
At ease on the rock
It finally came! I had a couple of grin weeks when I almost decided to quite climbing. That beautiful ballet you see at the good climbers just seamed so far away, that I felt detached from it. As if it was unattainable for me. I could no longer do even the moves I knew before. This led to that "wonderful" line of feelings one experiences when failing: anger, rejection, fear...
Patience. Breathe, be patient. My fingers hurt! Breathe, be patient. My skin peels! Breathe, in and out. I'm afraid of falling! Hang on, be patient. Damn in, I can't do this move! Breathe, just breathe.
I don't know where the line between being too patient with yourself and pushing yourself too much is. But I stumbled upon it last Saturday. I felt such at ease on the rock. Still gripping too hard, but happy to be there. Still making the wrong moves, but feeling them, feeling the rock, conscious of myself.
Me happy :)
Patience. Breathe, be patient. My fingers hurt! Breathe, be patient. My skin peels! Breathe, in and out. I'm afraid of falling! Hang on, be patient. Damn in, I can't do this move! Breathe, just breathe.
I don't know where the line between being too patient with yourself and pushing yourself too much is. But I stumbled upon it last Saturday. I felt such at ease on the rock. Still gripping too hard, but happy to be there. Still making the wrong moves, but feeling them, feeling the rock, conscious of myself.
Me happy :)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Blue Shoes
I just bought this pair of new custom made shoes. Amazing design, great leather and fantastic quality work. I wanted something a bit more extravagant, so I went for a blue color. Electric blue. Very electric blue!
I was worried they won't fit with my wardrobe, since I mostly wear blacks, browns and nudes. And they don't :) But I don't care, I love them! I could buy a whole wardrobe just to fit them. They are just so....well, beautiful doesn't really describe it! It's that feeling that I have, like I'm a total princess and the world is at my feet. And believe me, the word *princess* is like my antonym. I don't even like *princessy* girls, usually when I see one I feel like instantly slapping her.
But I guess I just needed to find the right pair of shoes to start to understand :) And because Sex and the City is in these days, I'd quote Carrie: Give a girl the right shoes, and she'll conquer the world!
Monday, June 09, 2008
The mental chill out
I gave it some thought after a long phone conversation with a dear friend. He said women need to talk to close a chapter, while men just need to forget about it and move on. Never thought about it in these terms. I do feel the need to close things, and I do need to talk them through somehow. I just feel that they are not closed if they remain unspoken, unexplained and unforgiven. Although I am not sure how or when will this happen.
Happiness can be selfish sometimes. It surely is now. But I can't and won't turn away from it. In all this restlessness and turmoil, it finally feels right. Right to be wrong, right to be happy, right to be myself. Alas.
As for the past, it is said that those who dwell on it too much will miss out the future. I choose to leave behind only a part of it, the one that doesn't worth remembering. As for the rest of it, it has taught me some lessons, and it has been valuable at that time, so no reason to forget about it just because it's not the same now. Setting apart the wrongs and the rights takes time, but it becomes easier as feelings settle down. I'm not there yet, but my mind is finally chilled...
Happiness can be selfish sometimes. It surely is now. But I can't and won't turn away from it. In all this restlessness and turmoil, it finally feels right. Right to be wrong, right to be happy, right to be myself. Alas.
As for the past, it is said that those who dwell on it too much will miss out the future. I choose to leave behind only a part of it, the one that doesn't worth remembering. As for the rest of it, it has taught me some lessons, and it has been valuable at that time, so no reason to forget about it just because it's not the same now. Setting apart the wrongs and the rights takes time, but it becomes easier as feelings settle down. I'm not there yet, but my mind is finally chilled...
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Summer breeze
There's something about the sea in the summer that makes it scream of freedom. The breeze, the sand, the water, the waves, the way the salty air fills my lungs........
I usually feel like going crazy in the summer, but it's a desired insanity. The kind that makes you laugh your heart out, become a nomad and forget everything about the "real life". And what is real after all?
I usually feel like going crazy in the summer, but it's a desired insanity. The kind that makes you laugh your heart out, become a nomad and forget everything about the "real life". And what is real after all?
The salty air is almost material, it sticks to my skin, to my palms in way that I can nearly hold it. I dip my hands in the sand and then I winnow it back on the ground. The tiny tiny pieces of shells and pebbles float a bit in the air before becoming just dots in the sand again. The water is still painfully cold. I shiver as I come out of it, after quickly dabbling myself.The sun is already too strong, we fell asleep on the beach and are now sunburned. We used a whole tube of cream to silence our pain, but then again, who cares? It's summer again! :D
